I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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