Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
