Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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