I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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