so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
