My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
