I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
