Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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