im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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