Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
