I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
