how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
