fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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