In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
