That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
