btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
