O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
