Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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