If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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