the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
