just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry my hands just texted you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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