Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
