awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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