We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
