I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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