The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
