Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
