i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
