Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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