So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
