Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
