drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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