I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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