Me too!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
