dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
