You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
