You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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