fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
