If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
