she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
