I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
