I wish I could punch you in the face.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
