I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
