Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
