called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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