She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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