Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
