Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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