All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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