North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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