My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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